<!-- Begin
var howMany = 89
var quote = new Array(howMany+1)
quote[0]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What kind of shoes do all spies wear?<br>A. Sneakers.</div></td></tr>"
quote[1]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did one wall say to the other wall?<br>A. I'll meet you at the corner.</div></td></tr>"
quote[2]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?<br>A. So he could tie the score.</div></td></tr>"
quote[3]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin?<br>A. They both depend on the batter.</div></td></tr>"
quote[4]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the alien say to the garden?<br>A. Take me to your weeder.</div></td></tr>"
quote[5]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?<br>A. I better not tell you, it might spread.</div></td></tr>"
quote[6]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How do baseball players stay cool?<br>A. Sit next to their fans.</div></td></tr>"
quote[7]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What gets wetter the more it dries?<br>A. A towel.</div></td></tr>"
quote[8]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why was the math book sad?<br>A. Because it had too many problems.</div></td></tr>"
quote[9]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What runs but doesn't get anywhere?<br>A. A refrigerator.</div></td></tr>"
quote[10]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How do you catch a squirrel?<br>A. Climb a tree and act like a nut!</div></td></tr>"
quote[11]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you do with a blue whale?<br>A. Try to cheer him up!</div></td></tr>"
quote[12]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How do you communicate with a fish?<br>A. Drop him a line!</div></td></tr>"
quote[13]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Where do sheep go to get haircuts?<br>A. To the Baa Baa shop!</div></td></tr>"
quote[14]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What does a shark eat with peanut butter?<br>A. Jellyfish!</div></td></tr>"
quote[15]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel?<br>A. Because he had a big bill!</div></td></tr>"
quote[16]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do cats eat for breakfast?<br>A. Mice Crispies!</div></td></tr>"
quote[17]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What kind of dog tells time?<br>A. A watch dog!</div></td></tr>"
quote[18]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why can't a leopard hide?<br>A. Because he's always spotted!</div></td></tr>"
quote[19]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you give a dog with a fever?<br>A. Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!</div></td></tr>"
quote[20]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?<br>A. A sour puss!</div></td></tr>"
quote[21]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why do birds fly south for the winter?<br>A. Its easier than walking!</div></td></tr>"
quote[22]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What kind of key opens a banana?<br>A. A monkey!</div></td></tr>"
quote[23]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?<br>A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?</div></td></tr>"
quote[24]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why does a hummingbird hum?<br>A. It doesn't know the words!</div></td></tr>"
quote[25]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?<br>A. Because they dropped out of school!</div></td></tr>"
quote[26]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What goes up and down but doesn't move?<br>A. The temperature!</div></td></tr>"
quote[27]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?<br>A. Today and Tomorrow!</div></td></tr>"
quote[28]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?<br>A. Neither, they both weigh a ton!</div></td></tr>"
quote[29]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What has four eyes but can't see?<br>A. Mississippi!</div></td></tr>"
quote[30]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Where does wood come from?<br>A. A guy named woody.</div></td></tr>"
quote[31]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What has one horn and gives milk<br>A. A milk truck.</div></td></tr>"
quote[32]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Where do bulls get their messages<br>A. On a bull-etin board.</div></td></tr>"
quote[33]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do bulls do when they go shopping?<br>A. They CHARGE!</div></td></tr>"
quote[34]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why were the giant's fingers only eleven inches long?<br>A. Because if they were twelve inches long, they'd be a foot.</div></td></tr>"
quote[35]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What is invisible and smells like carrots?<br>A. Bunny Farts!</div></td></tr>"
quote[36]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What runs but can't walk?<br>A. The faucet!</div></td></tr>"
quote[37]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in?<br>A. A water bed!</div></td></tr>"
quote[38]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?<br>A. Firecrackers!</div></td></tr>"
quote[39]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?<br>A. No thanks, I'm stuffed!</div></td></tr>"
quote[40]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the barber win the race?<br>A. Because he took a short cut.</div></td></tr>"
quote[41]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What's taken before you get it?<br>A. Your picture.</div></td></tr>"
quote[42]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the tree go to the dentist?<br>A. To get a root canal.</div></td></tr>"
quote[43]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the child study in the airplane?<br>A. He wanted a higher education!</div></td></tr>"
quote[44]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why was the broom late?<br>A. It over swept!</div></td></tr>"
quote[45]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?<br>A. A ladder in her stocking!</div></td></tr>"
quote[46]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did one virus say to another?<br>A. Stay away, I think I've got penicillin!</div></td></tr>"
quote[47]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the tie say to the hat?<br>A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around!</div></td></tr>"
quote[48]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What pet makes the loudest noise?<br>A. A trum-pet!</div></td></tr>"
quote[49]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What is a tornado?<br>A. Mother nature doing the twist!</div></td></tr>"
quote[50]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?<br>A. He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!</div></td></tr>"
quote[51]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How do you tease fruit?<br>A. Banananananananana!</div></td></tr>"
quote[52]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?<br>A. Because he wanted to work over-time!</div></td></tr>"
quote[53]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?<br>A. Because he wanted to see time fly!</div></td></tr>"
quote[54]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How does a moulded fruit-flavoured dessert answer the phone?<br>A. Jell-o!</div></td></tr>"
quote[55]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. When do you stop at green and go at red?<br>A. When you're eating a watermelon!</div></td></tr>"
quote[56]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How did the farmer mend his pants?<br>A. With cabbage patches!</div></td></tr>"
quote[57]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?<br>A. Because it makes you break out!</div></td></tr>"
quote[58]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you call artificial spaghetti?<br>A. Mockaroni!</div></td></tr>"
quote[59]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?<br>A. He has a lot of ketchup time!</div></td></tr>"
quote[60]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?<br>A. He couldn't concentrate!</div></td></tr>"
quote[61]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How do you repair a broken tomato?<br>A. Tomato Paste!</div></td></tr>"
quote[62]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the baby strawberry cry?<br>A. Because his parents were in a jam!</div></td></tr>"
quote[63]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the hamburger name his daughter?<br>A. Patty!</div></td></tr>"
quote[64]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?<br>A. A deviled egg!</div></td></tr>"
quote[65]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?<br>A. A turkey!</div></td></tr>"
quote[66]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?<br>A. A stomach-cake!</div></td></tr>"
quote[67]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?<br>A. He felt crummy!</div></td></tr>"
quote[68]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. When does a cart come before a horse?<br>A. In the dictionary!</div></td></tr>"
quote[69]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?<br>A. She couldn't control her pupils!</div></td></tr>"
quote[70]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?<br>A. Swimming trunks.</div></td></tr>"
quote[71]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?<br>A. An umbrella.</div></td></tr>"
quote[72]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What disappears when you stand up?<br>A. Your lap.</div></td></tr>"
quote[73]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?<br>A. My pop is bigger than yours.</div></td></tr>"
quote[74]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?<br>A. You are too little to smoke.</div></td></tr>"
quote[75]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?<br>A. A doctopus!</div></td></tr>"
quote[76]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the teacher jump into the lake?<br>A. Because she wanted to test the waters!</div></td></tr>"
quote[77]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the belt go to jail?<br>A. Because it held up a pair of pants!</div></td></tr>"
quote[78]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What is the center of gravity?<br>A. The letter V!<</div>/td></tr>"
quote[79]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the stamp say to the envelope?<br>A. Stick with me and we will go places!</div></td></tr>"
quote[80]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What sort of star is dangerous?<br>A. A shooting star!</div></td></tr>"
quote[81]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?<br>A. He wanted the lesson to be very clear!</div></td></tr>"
quote[82]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?<br>A. Flood lights!</div></td></tr>"
quote[83]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do computers do when they get hungry?<br>A. They eat chips!</div></td></tr>"
quote[84]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?<br>A. Because they're all in High School!</div></td></tr>"
quote[85]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary?<br>A. 'Smiles', because there is a mile between each 's'!</div></td></tr>"
quote[86]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Which month do soldiers hate most?<br>A. The month of March!</div></td></tr>"
quote[87]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the painter say to the wall?<br>A. One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!</div></td></tr>"
quote[88]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?<br>A. In case they get a hole in one!</div></td></tr>"
quote[89]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the the tie say to the hat?<br>A. You go on a head, I'll just hang around!</div></td></tr>"


function rndnumber(){
var randscript = -1
while (randscript < 0 || randscript > howMany || isNaN(randscript)){
randscript = parseInt(Math.random()*(howMany+1))
}
return randscript
}
quo = rndnumber()
quox = quote[quo]
document.write(quox);


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