
<!-- Begin
var howMany = 89
var quote = new Array(howMany+1)
quote[0]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?<br>A. He wanted cold hard cash!</div></td></tr>"
quote[1]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?<br>A. 'Is that you mommy?'</div></td></tr>"
quote[2]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?<br>A. Frostbite.</div></td></tr>"
quote[3]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?<br>A. They take the psycho path.</div></td></tr>"
quote[4]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?<br>A. Cell phones.</div></td></tr>"
quote[5]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?<br>A. Spoiled milk.</div></td></tr>"
quote[6]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Where do polar bears vote?<br>A. The North Poll</div></td></tr>"
quote[7]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?<br>A. ME!!!</div></td></tr>"
quote[8]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?<br>A. In snow banks.</div></td></tr>"
quote[9]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What's brown and sticky?<br>A. A stick.</div></td></tr>"
quote[10]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?<br>A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!</div></td></tr>"
quote[11]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What dog keeps the best time?<br>A. A watch dog.</div></td></tr>"
quote[12]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the tomato turn red?<br>A. It saw the salad dressing!</div></td></tr>"
quote[13]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?<br>A. It let out a little wine!</div></td></tr>"
quote[14]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How do you make a tissue dance?<br>A. Put a little boogey in it!</div></td></tr>"
quote[15]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom?<br>A. At the BP station!</div></td></tr>"
quote[16]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?<br>A. Odor in the court.</div></td></tr>"
quote[17]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the water say to the boat?<br>A. Nothing, it just waved.</div></td></tr>"
quote[18]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?<br>A. Dam!</div></td></tr>"
quote[19]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other?<br>A. They don't have the guts.</div></td></tr>"
quote[20]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What has four legs but can't walk?<br>A. A table!</div></td></tr>"
quote[21]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the turtle cross the road?<br>A. To get to the Shell station!</div></td></tr>"
quote[22]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the ground say to the earthquake?<br>A. You crack me up!</div></td></tr>"
quote[23]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?<br>A. Milk and quackers!</div></td></tr>"
quote[24]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the elephant eat the candle?<br>A. He wanted a light snack!</div></td></tr>"
quote[25]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why is the letter 'G' scary?<br>A. It turns a host into a ghost</div></td></tr>"
quote[26]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What has  4 eyes but no face?<br>A. Mississippi!</div></td></tr>"
quote[27]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the spider do on the computer?<br>A. Made a website!</div></td></tr>"
quote[28]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What letters are not in the alphabet?<br>A. The ones in the mail, of course!</div></td></tr>"
quote[29]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7?<br>A. Because 789!</div></td></tr>"
quote[30]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?<br>A. Because it felt crummy.</div></td></tr>"
quote[31]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How do you know carrots are good for your  eyes?<br>A. Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!</div></td></tr>"
quote[32]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you call a pony with a sore throat?<br>A. A little horse</div></td></tr>"
quote[33]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you call cheese that is not yours?<br>A. Nacho Cheese</div></td></tr>"
quote[34]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the sheep say 'moo'?<br>A. It was learning a new language!</div></td></tr>"
quote[35]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What streets do ghosts haunt?<br>A. Dead ends!</div></td></tr>"
quote[36]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?<br>A. The Space bar!</div></td></tr>"
quote[37]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What exam do young witches have to pass?<br>A. A spell-ing test!</div></td></tr>"
quote[38]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the boy eat his homework?<br>A. Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!</div></td></tr>"
quote[39]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why is Basketball such a messy sport?<br>A. Because you dribble on the floor!</div></td></tr>"
quote[40]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What is the best day to go to the beach?<br>A. Sunday, of course!</div></td></tr>"
quote[41]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What bow can't be tied?<br>A. A rainbow!</div></td></tr>"
quote[42]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?<br>A. Every morning you'll rise and shine!</div></td></tr>"
quote[43]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What does a teddy bear put in his house?<br>A. Fur-niture!</div></td></tr>"
quote[44]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What season is it when you are on a trampoline?<br>A.Spring time.</div></td></tr>"
quote[45]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What happens to cows during an earthquake?<br>A. They give milk shakes!</div></td></tr>"
quote[46]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the jelly wobble?<br>A. Because it saw the milk shake!</div></td></tr>"
quote[47]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies?<br>A. Betty!</div></td></tr>"
quote[48]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Where do cows go on holiday?<br>A. Moo York</div></td></tr>"
quote[49]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Where did the computer go to dance?<br>A. To a disc-o.</div></td></tr>"
quote[50]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you call a man who rolls in the leaves?<br>A. Russel</div></td></tr>"
quote[51]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What has one head, one foot and four legs?<br>A. A Bed</div></td></tr>"
quote[52]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?<br>A. He was a chicken.</div></td></tr>"
quote[53]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?<br>A. The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says 'chew chew chew'.</div></td></tr>"
quote[54]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the birdie go to the hospital?<br>A. To get a tweetment.</div></td></tr>"
quote[55]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?<br>A. A Clausterphobic</div></td></tr>"
quote[56]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why was the guy looking for the food on his friend?<br>A. Because his friend said its on me.</div></td></tr>"
quote[57]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Did you hear the joke about the roof?<br>A. Never mind, it's over your head!</div></td></tr>"
quote[58]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock?<br>A. A lawn mooer.</div></td></tr>"
quote[59]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?<br>A. Because he had no-body to go with.</div></td></tr>"
quote[60]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What washes up on very small beaches?<br>A. Microwaves!</div></td></tr>"
quote[61]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it?<br>A. A hole!</div></td></tr>"
quote[62]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move?<br>A. The road!</div></td></tr>"
quote[63]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How do you make a bandstand?<br>A. Take away their chairs!</div></td></tr>"
quote[64]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?<br>A. The scientists were brainstorming!</div></td></tr>"
quote[65]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did Tony go out with a prune?<br>A. Because he couldn't find a date!</div></td></tr>"
quote[66]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?<br>A. Hi Cliff!</div></td></tr>"
quote[67]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did Pooh say to his agent?<br>A. Show me the honey!</div></td></tr>"
quote[68]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why couldn't the pirate play cards?<br>A. Because he was sitting on the deck!</div></td></tr>"
quote[69]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the traffic light turn red?<br>A. You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!</div></td></tr>"
quote[70]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?<br>A. I think I'm coming down with something!</div></td></tr>"
quote[71]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do lawyers wear to court?<br>A. Lawsuits!</div></td></tr>"
quote[72]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What breaks when you say it?<br>A. Silence!</div></td></tr>"
quote[73]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?<br>A. Because then it would be a foot!</div></td></tr>"
quote[74]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What has four wheels and flies?<br>A. A garbage truck!</div></td></tr>"
quote[75]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?<br>A. Post Office!</div></td></tr>"
quote[76]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the blanket say to the bed?<br>A. Don't worry, I've got you covered!</div></td></tr>"
quote[77]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why should you take a pencil to bed?<br>A. To draw the curtains!</div></td></tr>"
quote[78]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. How many books can you put in an empty backpack?<br>A. One! After that its not empty!</div></td></tr>"
quote[79]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What kind of button won't unbutton?<br>A. A bellybutton!</div></td></tr>"
quote[80]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the penny say to the other penny?<br>A. We make perfect cents.</div></td></tr>"
quote[81]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the man with one hand cross the road?<br>A. To get to the second hand shop.</div></td></tr>"
quote[82]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the picture go to jail?<br>A. Because it was framed.</div></td></tr>"
quote[83]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What are two things you cannot have for breakfast?<br>A. Lunch and dinner.</div></td></tr>"
quote[84]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?<br>A. So he could have sweet dreams.</div></td></tr>"
quote[85]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. Why did the robber take a bath?<br>A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.</div></td></tr>"
quote[86]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did the judge say to the dentist?<br>A. Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.</div></td></tr>"
quote[87]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What do you call a bear with no socks on?<br>A. Bare-foot.</div></td></tr>"
quote[88]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What can you serve but never eat?<br>A. A volleyball.</div></td></tr>"
quote[89]="<tr><td><div class='text'>Q. What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?<br>A. No thank you, I am stuffed.</div></td></tr>"

function rndnumber(){
var randscript = -1
while (randscript < 0 || randscript > howMany || isNaN(randscript)){
randscript = parseInt(Math.random()*(howMany+1))
}
return randscript
}
quo = rndnumber()
quox = quote[quo]
document.write(quox);


// End -->



